The weekend is here at last
Oct. 17th, 2020 12:10 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hilsThe weekend is finally here! This has felt like a long week for no specific reason. Time just feels like it's moving slowly.
I've slipped out of the habit of posting every day as a way of unwinding after work, mostly because there isn't much to say. Work is ticking along but nothing particularly noteworthy is happening.
I started writing my Lost Tomb fic on Wednesday and it's not going well. I have about 800 words written but they are not good words. And I'm not saying that in a 'every author thinks their works is bad' sort of way. I mean I've written a decent chunk but I don't feel like I've emotionally connected with it. I need to have a think about what the issue is. Possibly I need to change the character POV, or maybe try harder to get into Wu Xie's head. IDK maybe I'll feel a bit more inspired after I watch more Reboot this weekend.
As I suspected the shoe has finally dropped with Love and Redemption. I've done a fair bit of yelling during my livetweets but for anyone who isn't following those and is curious here's a brief summary of my feelings
Okay, obviously I knew it wasn't going to stay as ridiculous and adorable as it started. It was only a matter of time before the pain began.
What's bothering me more than anything isn't what I expected at all though.
There's a character, Hao Chen (who has at least one other name that I can't remember so we'll call him Hao Chen) who knew Xuanji back when she was the God of War. For reasons which haven't yet been fully explained he's decided that it would be Bad if she got her memories of her former life back and has been actively trying to sabotage this. He's also decided that her falling in love is also Bad and is doing whatever he can to sabotage that too.
Now, the thing about Xuanji (I think I mentioned this in one of my other posts but I'm not sure) is that when she was reborn she was stripped of all her senses. She had no sense of taste or smell, was colour blind, can't feel pain, can't tell if sounds or pleasant or not, and doesn't feel emotion. The last one is particularly important.
Although they repeatedly say she can't feel emotion the way they've portrayed it is more like she doesn't understand and can't process emotions. She's not like a vulcan or anything like that. She's chipper and cheerful for the most part, has a strong sense of justice, gets angry when her friends are attacked and things like that. But she doesn't understand when people have emotional reactions to things, and she doesn't understand her own reactions to things when she has them. She's written almost like she's on the austism spectrum.
Which makes what Hao Chen keeps doing so enraging. He doesn't trust her to make her own decisions, and has been actively gaslighting her because he thinks it's for her own good. At one point the main romantic lead kissed her, and she didn't understand her body's reaction to it (feeling warm, heart racing, the usual signed of sexual/romantic attraction) so Hao Chen convinced her these were symptoms of an illness and that if she spent any more time with the man who kissed her she was at risk or dying. When she expressed a desire to marry the romantic lead Hao Chen convinced her that she didn't really understand what that involved and that if she got married she'd be abandoning her father and sister.
Now, I know this is a Chinese show and one set in an unspecified historic period with magic but god it's just all classic signs of emotional abuse and makes me so uncomfortable and angry. Now, obviously this dude is not the love interest and we know she's not going to end up with him in the end, so it's not like his actions are being portrayed as okay. In fact the romantic lead time and time again tells people that Xuanji is capable of making her own choices and should be allowed to do so. He never once pressures her to return his feelings or tries to manipulate her into thinking she feels something that she doesn't. So I think Hao Chen is mostly there to highlight how special Sifeng is by comparison.
Doesn't stop me getting mad though.
But, as I said on Twitter, I'm not mad at the show itself I'm mad at this specific character. Which means it's well written and well acted. If I didn't care about Xuanji and Sifeng I wouldn't be mad on their behalf.
So, yeah, a good show but so much rage.
Sifeng is suffering So Much because of Hao Chen's interference and Xuanji doesn't understand what's happening.
I don't think I'll have time to watch any more this weekend because it's gaming and streaming time but I am looking forward to watching more even if everything is terrible at the moment.
Oh, god, it's nearly 1am why am I still up?
I've slipped out of the habit of posting every day as a way of unwinding after work, mostly because there isn't much to say. Work is ticking along but nothing particularly noteworthy is happening.
I started writing my Lost Tomb fic on Wednesday and it's not going well. I have about 800 words written but they are not good words. And I'm not saying that in a 'every author thinks their works is bad' sort of way. I mean I've written a decent chunk but I don't feel like I've emotionally connected with it. I need to have a think about what the issue is. Possibly I need to change the character POV, or maybe try harder to get into Wu Xie's head. IDK maybe I'll feel a bit more inspired after I watch more Reboot this weekend.
As I suspected the shoe has finally dropped with Love and Redemption. I've done a fair bit of yelling during my livetweets but for anyone who isn't following those and is curious here's a brief summary of my feelings
Okay, obviously I knew it wasn't going to stay as ridiculous and adorable as it started. It was only a matter of time before the pain began.
What's bothering me more than anything isn't what I expected at all though.
There's a character, Hao Chen (who has at least one other name that I can't remember so we'll call him Hao Chen) who knew Xuanji back when she was the God of War. For reasons which haven't yet been fully explained he's decided that it would be Bad if she got her memories of her former life back and has been actively trying to sabotage this. He's also decided that her falling in love is also Bad and is doing whatever he can to sabotage that too.
Now, the thing about Xuanji (I think I mentioned this in one of my other posts but I'm not sure) is that when she was reborn she was stripped of all her senses. She had no sense of taste or smell, was colour blind, can't feel pain, can't tell if sounds or pleasant or not, and doesn't feel emotion. The last one is particularly important.
Although they repeatedly say she can't feel emotion the way they've portrayed it is more like she doesn't understand and can't process emotions. She's not like a vulcan or anything like that. She's chipper and cheerful for the most part, has a strong sense of justice, gets angry when her friends are attacked and things like that. But she doesn't understand when people have emotional reactions to things, and she doesn't understand her own reactions to things when she has them. She's written almost like she's on the austism spectrum.
Which makes what Hao Chen keeps doing so enraging. He doesn't trust her to make her own decisions, and has been actively gaslighting her because he thinks it's for her own good. At one point the main romantic lead kissed her, and she didn't understand her body's reaction to it (feeling warm, heart racing, the usual signed of sexual/romantic attraction) so Hao Chen convinced her these were symptoms of an illness and that if she spent any more time with the man who kissed her she was at risk or dying. When she expressed a desire to marry the romantic lead Hao Chen convinced her that she didn't really understand what that involved and that if she got married she'd be abandoning her father and sister.
Now, I know this is a Chinese show and one set in an unspecified historic period with magic but god it's just all classic signs of emotional abuse and makes me so uncomfortable and angry. Now, obviously this dude is not the love interest and we know she's not going to end up with him in the end, so it's not like his actions are being portrayed as okay. In fact the romantic lead time and time again tells people that Xuanji is capable of making her own choices and should be allowed to do so. He never once pressures her to return his feelings or tries to manipulate her into thinking she feels something that she doesn't. So I think Hao Chen is mostly there to highlight how special Sifeng is by comparison.
Doesn't stop me getting mad though.
But, as I said on Twitter, I'm not mad at the show itself I'm mad at this specific character. Which means it's well written and well acted. If I didn't care about Xuanji and Sifeng I wouldn't be mad on their behalf.
So, yeah, a good show but so much rage.
Sifeng is suffering So Much because of Hao Chen's interference and Xuanji doesn't understand what's happening.
I don't think I'll have time to watch any more this weekend because it's gaming and streaming time but I am looking forward to watching more even if everything is terrible at the moment.
Oh, god, it's nearly 1am why am I still up?