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hilsI really don't think I'm management material. Woke up at 1am having a mild anxiety attack because there was something I was supposed to mention at the weekly manager's meeting and I forgot. Took me ages to get back to sleep so am now very tired this morning
I don't think I've ever had a job that's got me this stressed/wound up before. Apart from the one I had when my boss used to bully me.
It's not that I can't manage the office. I can do that just fine. I just can't handle all the bullshit politics that goes on at our place and I'm not thick skinned enough to let it wash over me so I wind up getting angrey/upset. Which is not what a manager should be doing.
Yesterday, for example, when I was at this manager's meeting. I mentioned we were more or less up to date with our work (which is good since we've only been on this monitoring period for 2 weeks). One of the senior managers wanted it recorded how pleased she was with us, until one of the other managers said that she didn't think it was fair that we were being singled out for praise when all the other teams were working just as hard as us.
That didn't bother me so much as the fact that I said I had a couple of people in our office helping one of the other teams out but that the rest of us were doing our own work. Again this same manager piped up and said that wasn't fair. When her team had been asked to help us out in the past they'd been told to leave their own work in favour of ours. Everyone else agreed with her so basically it boiled down to the whole room vs me. Instead of being calm I got really embarassed in the meeting and really angry afterwards and I started ranting at my office, which wasn't the most professional thing to do.
The irony is that my senior manager agreed entirely with what I'd done but didn't mention it in the meeting because she didn't want to start an arguement. So it's ok for me to feel like an idiot then. She told me to carry on the way I was but to keep it quiet.
THAT'S the sort of bullshit that pisses me off and makes me think I really can't be bothered with this management lark. It's a hell of a lot of stress for not a lot of extra money.
There's an IT management job going (which will make me Dave's boss if I get it). I'm going to apply but at this stage I don't even know if I want the damn thing
I don't think I've ever had a job that's got me this stressed/wound up before. Apart from the one I had when my boss used to bully me.
It's not that I can't manage the office. I can do that just fine. I just can't handle all the bullshit politics that goes on at our place and I'm not thick skinned enough to let it wash over me so I wind up getting angrey/upset. Which is not what a manager should be doing.
Yesterday, for example, when I was at this manager's meeting. I mentioned we were more or less up to date with our work (which is good since we've only been on this monitoring period for 2 weeks). One of the senior managers wanted it recorded how pleased she was with us, until one of the other managers said that she didn't think it was fair that we were being singled out for praise when all the other teams were working just as hard as us.
That didn't bother me so much as the fact that I said I had a couple of people in our office helping one of the other teams out but that the rest of us were doing our own work. Again this same manager piped up and said that wasn't fair. When her team had been asked to help us out in the past they'd been told to leave their own work in favour of ours. Everyone else agreed with her so basically it boiled down to the whole room vs me. Instead of being calm I got really embarassed in the meeting and really angry afterwards and I started ranting at my office, which wasn't the most professional thing to do.
The irony is that my senior manager agreed entirely with what I'd done but didn't mention it in the meeting because she didn't want to start an arguement. So it's ok for me to feel like an idiot then. She told me to carry on the way I was but to keep it quiet.
THAT'S the sort of bullshit that pisses me off and makes me think I really can't be bothered with this management lark. It's a hell of a lot of stress for not a lot of extra money.
There's an IT management job going (which will make me Dave's boss if I get it). I'm going to apply but at this stage I don't even know if I want the damn thing
