![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hilsOk, time to crack on with responding to my rant meme
This one is for![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
drbillbongo
What. The. Fuck? Has anyone actually sat down with these people and tried to explain to them that Orlando Bloom CAN'T ACT! The fangirls seem to be of the opinion that he's all elvish and pretty but let's examine the facts.
1. Orlando Bloom is NOT an elf. Those little ears he has aren't real, he can't walk on top of snow, he can't surf down some steps on a shield without strings attached to him and he CERTAINLY can't swing himself on top of a CGI oliphant. These are what we call 'special effects'
2. Orlando Bloom's method of acting appears to be to walk around with very wide eyes looking as though he's about to cry. Please see exhibit A.
This, people, is not acting.
3. Orlando Bloom is incapable of having sexual chemistry with anyone except Gimli the dwarf. Every time he gets near anyone that isn't 3ft high he starts to look as though he about to cry again (see point 2). It is clear from this that Orlando has some sort of height complex, which means that if any of the fangirls actually got near him he'd probably run a mile
4. Orlando Bloom is NOT going to marry a scary 13 year old fangirl who screams every time she sees him on tv never minds meets him in person. Aside from the fact it's illegal it's also quite scary.
So, to cut a long story short GET OVER HIM!!!!
This one is for
drbillbongoWhat. The. Fuck? Has anyone actually sat down with these people and tried to explain to them that Orlando Bloom CAN'T ACT! The fangirls seem to be of the opinion that he's all elvish and pretty but let's examine the facts.
1. Orlando Bloom is NOT an elf. Those little ears he has aren't real, he can't walk on top of snow, he can't surf down some steps on a shield without strings attached to him and he CERTAINLY can't swing himself on top of a CGI oliphant. These are what we call 'special effects'
2. Orlando Bloom's method of acting appears to be to walk around with very wide eyes looking as though he's about to cry. Please see exhibit A.
This, people, is not acting.
3. Orlando Bloom is incapable of having sexual chemistry with anyone except Gimli the dwarf. Every time he gets near anyone that isn't 3ft high he starts to look as though he about to cry again (see point 2). It is clear from this that Orlando has some sort of height complex, which means that if any of the fangirls actually got near him he'd probably run a mile
4. Orlando Bloom is NOT going to marry a scary 13 year old fangirl who screams every time she sees him on tv never minds meets him in person. Aside from the fact it's illegal it's also quite scary.
So, to cut a long story short GET OVER HIM!!!!