I've lost it!
Oct. 23rd, 2004 01:21 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hilsI've forgotten how to write. I've just read over the first scene of my Halloween fic and omg it's awful. If you don't mind being spoiled have a look. If you can offer any suggestions I'd welcome them
“I don’t hold up with this staying inside crap.” Spike announced as his eyes swept over the latest home Angelus had selected for them. “More fun if you attack someone when they’re not expecting it.”
Darla shot Angelus a look and he sighed. “Your idea of fun is what drove us out of our last home, William. I’ll not have you ruin things for us again.”
“It’s Spike now. How many times do I have to tell you?”
Angelus shrugged. “Maybe when you start behaving yourself I’ll start using the name you prefer.”
“I like this place.” Dru whispered in Spike’s ear, taking his attention away from Angelus. “It sings and tells me I’m a princess.”
Spike’s face softened as he swept Dru up in his arms. “You are a princess, my sweet. I won’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
The mansion had been abandoned for a few years now, the owner had died and without an heir to inherit the place has fallen into disrepair. Angelus had quickly decided it was the perfect place for them to stay until they decided where to go next.
Darla scrutinised the place carefully before she turned back to Angelus with a smile. “It’s a little dusty, but I’m sure we can scare a few serving girls into cleaning it up for us.”
Angelus smiled. “I knew you’d like it. Wait until you see the bedrooms.”
A coy smile curled at Darla’s lips as she sashayed over to him and pressed her body against his. “And just how many bedrooms are there for us to try? You know I’m very particular about where I…sleep.”
Angelus pressed a kiss to her lips. “Let’s go and try one, shall we?”
It was then that they heard the door to the mansion open. Spike quickly set Dru down on her feet and motioned to her to be quiet. From where they were stood they had a clear view of the entrance foyer and of the people who were entering their home.
“Simon, I don’t like this.” A blonde haired girl whimpered as she grabbed onto his arm. “I want to go home.”
“Don’t be silly, Catherine. Those ghost stories aren’t real. That why we’re here. We’ll spend the night and then tell the others just how easy it was and what cowards they are.”
“It’ll be fun.” A dark haired girl announced, moving away from another young man. “Didn’t you always want to spend the night in a haunted house.”
“No.” Catherine replied. “And I’m surprised at you Rose. You know your father doesn’t approve of James and he’ll be furious if he finds out you were with him all night.”
Rose shrugged. “I really don’t care. He’s only angry because I won’t marry Lord Cavisham who has a fortune and three estates.”
“I’ll be rich too someday.” James added, “As soon as my book gets published.”
“Let’s explore!” Rose said excitedly, apparently wanting to change the subject. She clasped James’s hand and pulled him into the living room. Reluctantly Simon and Catherine followed.
Bleugh!
“I don’t hold up with this staying inside crap.” Spike announced as his eyes swept over the latest home Angelus had selected for them. “More fun if you attack someone when they’re not expecting it.”
Darla shot Angelus a look and he sighed. “Your idea of fun is what drove us out of our last home, William. I’ll not have you ruin things for us again.”
“It’s Spike now. How many times do I have to tell you?”
Angelus shrugged. “Maybe when you start behaving yourself I’ll start using the name you prefer.”
“I like this place.” Dru whispered in Spike’s ear, taking his attention away from Angelus. “It sings and tells me I’m a princess.”
Spike’s face softened as he swept Dru up in his arms. “You are a princess, my sweet. I won’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”
The mansion had been abandoned for a few years now, the owner had died and without an heir to inherit the place has fallen into disrepair. Angelus had quickly decided it was the perfect place for them to stay until they decided where to go next.
Darla scrutinised the place carefully before she turned back to Angelus with a smile. “It’s a little dusty, but I’m sure we can scare a few serving girls into cleaning it up for us.”
Angelus smiled. “I knew you’d like it. Wait until you see the bedrooms.”
A coy smile curled at Darla’s lips as she sashayed over to him and pressed her body against his. “And just how many bedrooms are there for us to try? You know I’m very particular about where I…sleep.”
Angelus pressed a kiss to her lips. “Let’s go and try one, shall we?”
It was then that they heard the door to the mansion open. Spike quickly set Dru down on her feet and motioned to her to be quiet. From where they were stood they had a clear view of the entrance foyer and of the people who were entering their home.
“Simon, I don’t like this.” A blonde haired girl whimpered as she grabbed onto his arm. “I want to go home.”
“Don’t be silly, Catherine. Those ghost stories aren’t real. That why we’re here. We’ll spend the night and then tell the others just how easy it was and what cowards they are.”
“It’ll be fun.” A dark haired girl announced, moving away from another young man. “Didn’t you always want to spend the night in a haunted house.”
“No.” Catherine replied. “And I’m surprised at you Rose. You know your father doesn’t approve of James and he’ll be furious if he finds out you were with him all night.”
Rose shrugged. “I really don’t care. He’s only angry because I won’t marry Lord Cavisham who has a fortune and three estates.”
“I’ll be rich too someday.” James added, “As soon as my book gets published.”
“Let’s explore!” Rose said excitedly, apparently wanting to change the subject. She clasped James’s hand and pulled him into the living room. Reluctantly Simon and Catherine followed.
Bleugh!
