Uh...yeah...
Sep. 18th, 2011 02:22 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
hilsSo, ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
flickums and I wrote fic last night.
Sorry?
Worse still there wasn't even any alcohol (or drugs) involved
Title: Leave Your Hatemail At The Door
Authors:hils and flickums
Pairings: EVERYONE
Warnings: Sera Gamble. Surprise!Sebastian. Surprise!Wincest. Threesomes. Violence. Fangirls. Sam's sentient hair. Blasphemy.
Summary: See warnings and title
Once upon a time there was a hunter called Dean. One day he was basking in his godlike handsomeness when an angel called Castiel appeared before him.
“Dean,” Castiel said, “I have been drawn from Heaven to Earth by your godlike handsomeness.”
Dean was neither shocked nor surprised that his godlike handsomeness had angels flocking to him. But a deep and burning jealousy grew within him and he became envious of Castiel’s celestial handsomeness!!
Before Dean could act on his envy, Sam walked into the room with hair so shiny and perfect that both Dean and Castiel could do nothing but stare at him.
Sam’s hair felt awkward. Now the most handsome entity in the room, it knew it had to act fast before Dean or Castiel had the chance to strike. Luckily because Sam was such a gigantor his hair was well out of reach of the two handsome shortasses. What Sam wasn’t counting on, however, were the armies of devout fangirls ready to battle his hair in the event of rival handsomeness!
Soon there was a full on war. Sam!girls vs Dean!girls vs Cas!girls. The shrieking, hair-pulling, bitching and crying soon had Sam, Dean and Castiel hiding in a corner.
Whilst hiding in their bunker of handsomeness, Dean, Castiel and Sam’s hair realised that the only way to end the war was to join forces. If they were all handsome together, the fangirls would worship them all equally and then the sexy but cruel fighting would stop.
Unfortunately they hadn’t counted on fangirl mentality (a non-existent entity). As they stepped from their bunker, hand in hand, to tell the fangirls their plan a new fight broke out about whose brilliant idea it had been for them to join forces in the first place.
New plan. What they needed was a common enemy to unite the fangirls in their hatred. But who could bear such animosity? One of the fangirls? Kripke? One of Kripke’s fangirls?
Castiel attempted to diffuse the situation by claiming they were only fighting because he wanted them to, for he was their puppet master.
“MWAHAHAHAHAHA!” An evil cackle rang out. “No, little angel. I am the puppet master and all of you are my bitches.”
The temperature in the room went up as every fangirl’s face turned incandescent with rage.
Sera Gamble, of course! The most hated woman in fandom.
“Sam, why isn’t your shirt off? Dean, why aren’t you yelling at Castiel? Cas, why aren’t you lying and sneaking around?”
Castiel had never dealt with a foe this hated and this powerful before. Even with their combined handsomeness, Castiel know they needed help.
It was up to Sebastian Roche to save the day!
“Hello ladies,” he crooned as he swanned into the room wearing nothing but a tiger print thong.
Half the fangirls were repulsed while the other half squeed. Sera looked at him quizzically like she wasn’t quite sure which of those two reactions she should be having herself.
Sebastian leered at Sam, Dean and Cas. “Which one of you wants to go first? Or I could take you all at once.”
Sera was out of options. She needed a distraction and fast! It was up to her to summon Gabriel to engage in a Pokemon style duel with Sebastian, telling the swooning fangirls that Sebastian was clearly trying to replace him and Mr Trickster does not like pretty boy angels.
The fangirls were conflicted, which was just the distraction Sera needed to sneak away and go back to writing storylines that centred around Sam having no shirt on.
Gabriel and Sebastian quickly called a truce and decided to hit a bar together, leaving Sam, Dean and Castiel alone with the fangirls once more.
Sam pondered on all that had just happened. Maybe Sera was right? He started to unbutton his shirt but then something inside him snapped! Why should he pander to the shallow and fickle whims of fangirls he didn’t even know? If Sera wanted to add glitter to that glue she was sniffing that’s fine but Sam didn’t want her spreading her whackadoo all over the show – he’d rather not step in it.
Robo!Sam was here.
Unfortunately for all concerned it was a truth universally acknowledged that Robo!Sam was hotter than regular regular Sam. Even Dean had the occasional inappropriate thought about his brother when he was all cold and ruthless. Especially when Sam kept touching his leg and talking about a safe room.
“Look,” Sam said, “the solution is obvious. We have a threesome and the fangirls will think it’s so hot they’ll forget all about fighting.
A plan with no drawbacks (except that Dean had to fuck his brother but that was a small price to pay).
Sam got to take off his shirt, Dean got to shout at Cas and Cas got to play around with the two of them.
And so they all lived happily ever after in the bunker of handsomeness and Sera went back to being hated despite giving the fangirls what they want
The End
flickums and I wrote fic last night.Sorry?
Worse still there wasn't even any alcohol (or drugs) involved
Title: Leave Your Hatemail At The Door
Authors:
hils and flickumsPairings: EVERYONE
Warnings: Sera Gamble. Surprise!Sebastian. Surprise!Wincest. Threesomes. Violence. Fangirls. Sam's sentient hair. Blasphemy.
Summary: See warnings and title
Once upon a time there was a hunter called Dean. One day he was basking in his godlike handsomeness when an angel called Castiel appeared before him.
“Dean,” Castiel said, “I have been drawn from Heaven to Earth by your godlike handsomeness.”
Dean was neither shocked nor surprised that his godlike handsomeness had angels flocking to him. But a deep and burning jealousy grew within him and he became envious of Castiel’s celestial handsomeness!!
Before Dean could act on his envy, Sam walked into the room with hair so shiny and perfect that both Dean and Castiel could do nothing but stare at him.
Sam’s hair felt awkward. Now the most handsome entity in the room, it knew it had to act fast before Dean or Castiel had the chance to strike. Luckily because Sam was such a gigantor his hair was well out of reach of the two handsome shortasses. What Sam wasn’t counting on, however, were the armies of devout fangirls ready to battle his hair in the event of rival handsomeness!
Soon there was a full on war. Sam!girls vs Dean!girls vs Cas!girls. The shrieking, hair-pulling, bitching and crying soon had Sam, Dean and Castiel hiding in a corner.
Whilst hiding in their bunker of handsomeness, Dean, Castiel and Sam’s hair realised that the only way to end the war was to join forces. If they were all handsome together, the fangirls would worship them all equally and then the sexy but cruel fighting would stop.
Unfortunately they hadn’t counted on fangirl mentality (a non-existent entity). As they stepped from their bunker, hand in hand, to tell the fangirls their plan a new fight broke out about whose brilliant idea it had been for them to join forces in the first place.
New plan. What they needed was a common enemy to unite the fangirls in their hatred. But who could bear such animosity? One of the fangirls? Kripke? One of Kripke’s fangirls?
Castiel attempted to diffuse the situation by claiming they were only fighting because he wanted them to, for he was their puppet master.
“MWAHAHAHAHAHA!” An evil cackle rang out. “No, little angel. I am the puppet master and all of you are my bitches.”
The temperature in the room went up as every fangirl’s face turned incandescent with rage.
Sera Gamble, of course! The most hated woman in fandom.
“Sam, why isn’t your shirt off? Dean, why aren’t you yelling at Castiel? Cas, why aren’t you lying and sneaking around?”
Castiel had never dealt with a foe this hated and this powerful before. Even with their combined handsomeness, Castiel know they needed help.
It was up to Sebastian Roche to save the day!
“Hello ladies,” he crooned as he swanned into the room wearing nothing but a tiger print thong.
Half the fangirls were repulsed while the other half squeed. Sera looked at him quizzically like she wasn’t quite sure which of those two reactions she should be having herself.
Sebastian leered at Sam, Dean and Cas. “Which one of you wants to go first? Or I could take you all at once.”
Sera was out of options. She needed a distraction and fast! It was up to her to summon Gabriel to engage in a Pokemon style duel with Sebastian, telling the swooning fangirls that Sebastian was clearly trying to replace him and Mr Trickster does not like pretty boy angels.
The fangirls were conflicted, which was just the distraction Sera needed to sneak away and go back to writing storylines that centred around Sam having no shirt on.
Gabriel and Sebastian quickly called a truce and decided to hit a bar together, leaving Sam, Dean and Castiel alone with the fangirls once more.
Sam pondered on all that had just happened. Maybe Sera was right? He started to unbutton his shirt but then something inside him snapped! Why should he pander to the shallow and fickle whims of fangirls he didn’t even know? If Sera wanted to add glitter to that glue she was sniffing that’s fine but Sam didn’t want her spreading her whackadoo all over the show – he’d rather not step in it.
Robo!Sam was here.
Unfortunately for all concerned it was a truth universally acknowledged that Robo!Sam was hotter than regular regular Sam. Even Dean had the occasional inappropriate thought about his brother when he was all cold and ruthless. Especially when Sam kept touching his leg and talking about a safe room.
“Look,” Sam said, “the solution is obvious. We have a threesome and the fangirls will think it’s so hot they’ll forget all about fighting.
A plan with no drawbacks (except that Dean had to fuck his brother but that was a small price to pay).
Sam got to take off his shirt, Dean got to shout at Cas and Cas got to play around with the two of them.
And so they all lived happily ever after in the bunker of handsomeness and Sera went back to being hated despite giving the fangirls what they want
The End
no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 01:40 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:13 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:05 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:53 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:06 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:53 am (UTC)Even if this particular mental image: he swanned into the room wearing nothing but a tiger print thong
. . . is now seared into my retinas. o_O
no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 08:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 08:36 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2011-09-18 02:08 pm (UTC)This made me want to write proper RPS about him. FML.