Meme

Stolen shamelessly from hobbituk

A - Age: 33
B - Bed size: Double
C - Chore you hate: Hoovering
D - Dog/Pet's name: Well technically they're my parents dogs but they're called Max and Fergus
E - Essential start to your day item(s): I'm very sad but the first thing I do when I wake up is use my phone to check my email and social media accounts
F - Favorite color: Purple
G - Gold or Silver: Silver
H - Height: 5'3".
I - Instruments you play(ed): Keyboard and recorder. Both badly.
J - Job title: Senior Service Desk Analyst
K - Kisses or hugs: Hugs
L - Living arrangements: Share a 3 bedroom house with jacqui_hw
M - Mood: Right now? Tired. I just finished a night shift and only slept for 3 hours to regulate my sleep pattern for my days off
N - Nicknames: I think Hils is the main one
O - Overnight hospital stays other than birth: None
P - Pet Peeves: Rudeness and ignorance
Q - Quote from a movie: Drink up me hearties yo ho
R - Right or left handed: Right.
S - Siblings: flickums
T - Time you wake up: I work shifts so it entirely depends if I'm working and what shift I'm on
U- Underwear: Yes
V - Vegetable you dislike: Kidney beans
W - Ways you run late: Usually because I'm faffing online and lose track of time.
X - X-rays you've had: Elbow and teeth
Y - Yummy food you make: I can't even remember the last time I cooked for someone else
Z - Zoo favorite: Not a big fan of zoos. I don't like seeing animals in captivity.

Comms

I should probably find some new comms that relate to my new interests. I've left most of the SPN ones (apart from the one that I mod) and apart from a Clint/Coulson and Steve/Tony one I'm not really on any Avengers one or anything relating to any of the other shows I watch.

Anyone got any recs?

Feelings and stuff

I found this post really interesting given what I was talking about a couple of days back.

I've never had depression before, so I didn't really realise I was suffering from it until I wasn't any more. The feelings (or lack thereof) weren't as intense as the experiences described in that post but I can definitely relate to the early stages. For a good few months I really didn't care about anything and spent most nights feeling sad and alone, while dwelling on every stupid mistake I have ever made. I'd watch shows I used to love and feel nothing, see people getting involved in fandom stuff and wonder how I had ever found that fun. I didn't really go anywhere or do anything. I threw myself into the administrative side of my job with gusto because it was something to do that didn't involve interaction or any sort of emotional response.

Part of me just assumed this was something that came with getting older and that was just how I was going to be from now on. In my mind fun was something only people in their teens and twenties got to have.

And then it just stopped. No idea what caused it or why it went away but suddenly I wanted to do stuff again, and going out was something fun that I looked forward to. Possibly I over-compensated for this because my reaction was DO ALL THE THINGS! I'm going to learn photography, take up archery, write a novel, run several fandom comms, beta fics for people, learn how to draw, take weekly trips out, go on vacation and continue to work in my two jobs.

LOL!

Hopefully once the novelty of being happy wears off I'll settle down into a sort of medium.

And that was probably TMI