Pub joke - Chaucer style

[hils]

3 Fellows wenten into a pub
And gleefully their hands did rub
In expectation of revellery
For, twas the hour known as happy

Great bottles of wine did they quaff
And had a really good laff
Till drunkeness held full dominion
For twas two for the price of one

Yet after wine and mead and sack
Man must have a massive snack
Great Pasties from Cornwall
Scottish Eggs, round like a ball

Great hams, quail, duck and geese
They sucked the bones and drank the grease
One fellow stood all pale and wan
For he was vegetarian

Yet man knoweth that gluttony
Stoketh the fires of lechery
Upon three young wenches round and sly
The fellows cast a wanton eye

One did approach with drunken wink
'allo, darlin, d'you fancy a drink?'
Soon they caught them on their knee
Twas like some grotesque puppetry
Such was the lewdness and debauchery
Twas like a sketch by Dick Emery
(except Dick Emery was not yet born
So such comparison may not be drawn)

Then the fellows began to pale,
for quail is not the friend of ale
And in their bellies much confusion
From their throats, vile extrusion

Stinking foul corruption came spewing forth from drooling lips
The fetted stench did fill the pub Twas the very arse of Beelzebub

Thrown they were from Horn and Trumpet
In the street no coin, no strumpet
Homeward bound they must quickly go
To that end a donkey stole

Their hands all with vomit greased
The donkey - was not pleased
It threw them into a ditch of shite
And they all agreed 'What a brilliant night!'