Sunday Fic Recs

Illya/Napoleon (Man From UNCLE - Movie Universe)
A Steady Grip by AlchemyAlice
“If you have not noticed,” Illya says, a little dryly, “I am not nearly so good at being a liar as you are, cowboy.” He stands in front of Napoleon, nearly looming. He adds, almost idly, “Not unless I’m not given a choice.”
This whole series is great but this part is especially wonderful

When the Ice Melts by collarsandplaid
Illya is Illya. He is everything he does. Everything he does embodies him as a person. He can knock a man unconscious without even knocking him off his feet, and he can force a man down with enough power to ensure the man never gets up again. But at the same time, he can stitch a wound with the care and precision of a doctor; he can smooth away the pain of a hang-over with cool fingertips. He’s infuriating and comforting and Napoleon doesn’t want to see the day when he stops.

(or 5 times Napoleon noted Illya caring for his partners and one time it's Napoleon's turn)
(or or 5 times Napoleon felt closer to his partner and the one time he became worried about it)
This is so lovely and charming and sweet

00Q (James Bond - Daniel Craig Universe)
Dramatic Arts by scioscribe
In which Spectre is actually Bond's poorly written attempt at falsifying a mission report. Q wants a flight simulator, Eve wants more lines, and M wants a drink. Everybody's a critic.
Okay, this is hilarious

Perfect Fit by saturn_in_retrograde
Two men. Three continents. Ten cities. Twelve months. Time and trouble enough to fall in love.
How Q almost unintentionally sweeps James off his feet with his awkward flirting, genius intellect, smart mouth, sexy librarian cardigans, raunchy sense of humor...and those red, red lips like cherries.
This is a wonderful exploration of their relationship

Office Tree-Gate

Christmas in my office this year went something like this. I have ranted on Twitter so apologies if you're seeing this twice

Office Manager: Someone needs to put the Christmas tree up, Hils

Me: Is that a not so subtle hint?

OM: Yes

H: *sigh* Fine

H: *takes down all the boxes, puts the tree together and stands it up*

H: *looks in the box of decorations and sees a massive tangle of lights, tinsel and baubles*

H: I've erected the tree but those decorations are going to take forever to untangle. Can you get someone else to help

Rest of the office: *silence*

OM: Someone needs to decorate the Christmas tree, Hils. Fine, I'll help

OM: *does a cursory attempt at 'helping' for 5 mins and then leaves*

Hils: *spends 30 mins untangling everything and is already fed up*

Hils: *decorates the tree*

Hils: Right, I'm done. Now leave me alone. Bah humbug etc

Rest of the Office: *comes to have a look*

Rest of the Office: *starts moving things around and basically critiquing the whole thing*

Hils: *seething*

Hils: Okay, so you all have opinions on the tree. Where were you when I didn't want to do it?

Rest of the Office: *continues critiquing and basically strips down the tree and redecorates it*

Hils: *seething*

(The next day)

Deputy Office Manager: Who decorated the tree? Why aren't the lights on?

Hils: *explodes* THE LIGHTS DON'T WORK. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION ON THIS BLOODY TREE BUT NO ONE WAS INTERESTED IN DOING THE ACTUAL WORK NOW SIT DOWN AND LEAVE IT ALONE

DOM: Sorry :(

Office Tree-Gate

Christmas in my office this year went something like this. I have ranted on Twitter so apologies if you're seeing this twice

Office Manager: Someone needs to put the Christmas tree up, Hils

Me: Is that a not so subtle hint?

OM: Yes

H: *sigh* Fine

H: *takes down all the boxes, puts the tree together and stands it up*

H: *looks in the box of decorations and sees a massive tangle of lights, tinsel and baubles*

H: I've erected the tree but those decorations are going to take forever to untangle. Can you get someone else to help

Rest of the office: *silence*

OM: Someone needs to decorate the Christmas tree, Hils. Fine, I'll help

OM: *does a cursory attempt at 'helping' for 5 mins and then leaves*

Hils: *spends 30 mins untangling everything and is already fed up*

Hils: *decorates the tree*

Hils: Right, I'm done. Now leave me alone. Bah humbug etc

Rest of the Office: *comes to have a look*

Rest of the Office: *starts moving things around and basically critiquing the whole thing*

Hils: *seething*

Hils: Okay, so you all have opinions on the tree. Where were you when I didn't want to do it?

Rest of the Office: *continues critiquing and basically strips down the tree and redecorates it*

Hils: *seething*

(The next day)

Deputy Office Manager: Who decorated the tree? Why aren't the lights on?

Hils: *explodes* THE LIGHTS DON'T WORK. EVERYONE HAS AN OPINION ON THIS BLOODY TREE BUT NO ONE WAS INTERESTED IN DOING THE ACTUAL WORK NOW SIT DOWN AND LEAVE IT ALONE

DOM: Sorry :(