hils | Don't even ask

I wrote crack!fic for

mishaland last night and I've had requests to post it here so here you go. It's still in capslock because I can't be arsed to retype it

SO,

ibroketuesday COMMENTED POOR CASTIEL DIDN'T DO ANYTHING TO DESERVE MISHA WHICH LED ME TO THINK ABOUT CASTIEL PONDERING WHY MISHA KEEPS HAPPENING TO HIM. THEN, OF COURSE, THERE HAD TO BE FIC.

CASTIEL WAS PRETTY SURE HIS RECENT STRANGE BEHAVIOUR HAD SOMETHING TO DO WITH BEING CUT OFF FROM HEAVEN, EITHER THAT OR EXCESSIVE EYEFUCKING WITH DEAN.

IT HAD STARTED WITH HIS INSISTANCE THAT SAM AND DEAN WERE HIS MINIONS, EVEN THOUGH DEAN ASSURED HIM HE WAS NOBODY'S BITCH AND SAM JUST LOOKED SAD AND EMO.

THEN HE'D FOUND HIMSELF ADMIRING PONIES AND HAD ASKED DEAN IF HE COULD RIDE ON ONE INSTEAD OF THE IMPALA. DEAN HAD LOOKED AT HIM STRANGELY, WHICH MADE A CHANGE TO THE EYEFUCKING, BUT HAD TOLD HIM HE COULD DO WHATEVER HE WANTED. SO CAS HAD ACQUIRED A PONY AND NAMED IT RPATTZ. WHAT HE COULDN'T EXPLAIN WAS WHY HE GOT HUNGRY WHENEVER HE WAS AROUND THE PONY.

THE SUDDEN DESIRE TO BATHE IN YOGHURT CAME AS SOMETHING OF A SURPRISE BUT HE ACTUALLY FOUND IT QUITE REFRESHING, AND HE EVEN PERSUADED DEAN TO JOIN HIM ONE TIME (ALTHOUGH DEAN MADE HIM SWEAR NEVER TO TELL ANYONE ABOUT IT EVER)

THINGS JUST GOT STRANGER AND STRANGER. HE DITCHED RPATTZ IN FAVOUR OF A SMASHED UP CAR AND WHEN HE GOT BORED OF THAT HE STARTED DRIVING AROUND AN A VEHICLE WHICH DEAN HAD NAMED THE JESUSMOBILE. REALLY, CAS WAS JUST SPREADING THE HOLY WORD AND WHAT WAS WRONG WITH THAT?

BUT NOW HIS CLOTHES WERE STARTING TO CHANGE AND DEAN WAS NOT IMPRESSED WITH THE ABSENCE OF CASTIEL'S TRENCHCOAT. EVEN SAM WAS SADDER THAN USUAL, WHICH TAKES SOME EFFORT.

WHEN CASTIEL TURNED UP WEARING A RED MRS SANTA DRESS DEAN HAD LOOKED SHOCKED, THEN TURNED ON, AND SAM MADE A HASTY EXIT

WHEN CASTIEL TURNED UP WEARING A BLOODY TACO COSTUME FOR HALLOWEEN (HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW SUCH A THING EXISTED NEVER MIND HOW HE CAME TO BE WEARING ONE) HE FOUND SAM DRESSED AS A BUTTERCUP AND DEAN DRESSED A PINK UNICORN (OR A DEANICORN IF YOU LIKE)

"WHAT THE HELL IS HAPPENING?" DEAN ASKED WHEN HE TOOK IN CASTIEL'S STRANGE AND TERRIFYING COSTUME.

"HELL IS RIGHT," CASTIEL REPLIED. "CLEARLY THIS IS WORK OF LUCIFER."

"NO," SURPRISE!MISHA ANNOUNCED. "IT WAS ALL ME FOR I AM AWESOME."

NO ONE COULD DENY IT.

SO CAS, DEAN, SAM AND MISHA ALL WENT TRICK OR TREATING TOGETHER. MISHA WAS DRESSED AS MISHA COLLINS AND HE GOT THE MOST CANDY FOR HAVING SUCH AN AWESOME COSTUME.

AND AFTERWARDS THEY ALL HAD AN ORGY AND THE FANGIRLS WERE HAPPY

THE END